The Story of The Day I Got Nearly-Engaged!!!

Hey all

Due to my new academic writing responsibilities, I've had little time for "recreational writing", thus it has been a long since I shipped out one of these, but today is the day. Please again pay heed to the age-limit (2-18) warning as some of the content below may offend younger or sensitive viewers! 

Alright here we go. I hope you enjoy. If you do or you don't let me know with a sneakie little comment at the bottom, that'd be much appreciated!

Below is the story, no check that, the AWESOME story of "The Day I Got 'Nearly-Engaged'!!!" ... This day was a couple of years back when I was still living in South Africa.

I see life, as a series of stories. Short stories maybe. Maybe even chapters of a larger collection - a compendium, if U will. I prefer though just to think of them as stories. Glorious stories! All these stories come together to form a lattice. This lattice is my life. Here is 1 such story.

This is the story as told to a friend of mine, let's call him Baxter, via G-Talk Chat. He provides a funny & fascinating series of exchanges which adds a tremendous amount to the telling ... Thank you Ol' Baxxie! Enjoy.

(Excuse the G-Talk formatteeen please)

Ok. Oh yes, as always, names have been tweaked to protect the identity of all these awesome peepsies!

Ok. I think we're ready ... Oh, warning: It's long enough like!

Ok, the stage has been set. Here we go:

___________________________________________________________

"The Day I got Nearly-Engaged!!!"

Gray: Dude, I have a HUGE story to tell U

Baxter:  tell me

I am very busy and important but telll me anyway.

Gray:  Haha

Yes U R Ol Baxter. Yes you are.

Okay

So let me preface this tale by telling U the title of my story

This is the story of   "The Day I got Nearly-Engaged!!!"

That was yesterday by the way

So ja, the story goes like this ....

This BGBG came to visit me yesterday

U do know what a BGBG is right?

Baxter:  woah!

no

Gray:  Yeah

BGBG = Beautiful (ofcourse!) Godly (ofcourse) Belgian Girl

Yes indeed a BGBG came to visit me yesterday with a couple of okes who are my friends but I had never met this wonder of creation ...

Anyway, so we did the normal stuff - Chatted, sipped tea and nibbled carrots.

Just the typical stuff that would normally happen when U have a BGBG round for tea.

U still with me?

Baxter:  yep

still here

Gray:  Okay

So then we had a couple of chats and I was enjoying as U can imagine

Chatted about what she is doing, the fact that she's a surfer chick, etc.

Yeah

Also does some lifesaving stuff

So when I say she is “fit” I mean it in both senses of the phrase: The athletic sense and the British sense!

Anyway, back to the story

So we had a good chat about my headeeeen to Dublin, etc and she was really looking deep into my eyes and my soul at that point and it was amazing.

She really listens you know and looks eye-to-eye. Shoh.

QUICK ASIDE: She may just be one of those irritating + AWESOME individuals who pays attention and is very friendly to everyone she meets and maybe she was, actually, not that stoked about me specifically, but I thought she was stoked (about me) and I was most certainly amped.

Irritating and AWESOME is what I meant above, hey! You get me?

Those sorta girls are QUALITY because they just love people, U know?

They suck though cos I can't tell if she thinks I am a “Sexy MAN-Minx”  or whether she is just like that generally to everyone. Anyway, what U think so far?

  

Baxter:  sounds like she wants your children

  

Gray:  Yes, that's what I thought. Anyway, so the story continues ...

Baxter:  she sounds perfect

Gray: Haha, yes but it gets BETTER! Just U wait ... Baxter, my man, U will be STOKED! 

Anyway, so at one point I was singing around the piano as 1 does, while my friend, let’s call him Teddie, why call him Teddie, you ask? Well simply, because his name is Teddie (His name is not Teddie!).

Anyway, so Ol' Teddie played a bit of piano.

Hmmm, that last sentence was a bit cumbersome let me simplify: Teddie tinkled the ivory and I tinkled the strings of mine throat lyrically and melodiously. Better?

Anyway, he is a piano genius by the way.

His name is Teddie and I am Gray and we are starting a band called: "O'Grayddie's" or "Are you Greddie for some lekker musiek?"!

U get it?! The meaning is hidden behind layers of wit and skill, don't worry yourself too much if you don't get it Bax. Just chill Bru...

Anyway, so there I was just singing. No big deal. 

U know, again just stock-standard stuff. Just a normal Wednesday arvo. Nothing odd or strange or weird here. Just what both U and I would've done in that situation - Just a normal wednesday afternoon - typical manly activities. Nothing unusual there. Uh-um.

Baxter:  acting normal

Gray:  anyway, so she came in and didn't laugh or point (that's where the story drifts from normality! Hehe!)

Yes yes, acting normal

U know it!

Anyway, then she starts singing along!

Baxter:  normally?

Gray:   Yes indeed, and she sounded nice. Now she wasn't any Christina Aguilera or Leona Lewis or my fave Rebecca Friday Black but she was good and she had the ovaries (Rd: female balls) to just sing along ... VERY cool!

Yes, yes. Normally.

Baxter:  wow

Gray:  Aha. It gets better.

If U cannot believe it ... BELIEVE IT, trust me!

Then I was showing one of the guys my Dominate Athletic Weightroom.

Baxter:  OHOH

your muscles?

were they bulging?

Gray:  and she comes in. Then obviously I climb a few ropes to show them how it is done - cos they couldn't imagine how to climb a rope, obviously! ACTUALLY, I totally climbed them to show her my skillz!

Of course oke, my pipes were like sewer pipes. Like full sewer pipes. Not weeny irrigation pipes. Pipes bulgeeen at the seems with sewerage. Oh wait, that doesn't sound quite right. Umm... Hmmm... Anyway ...

Baxter:  Did u totally rip your blouse, China?

Gray:   BIG ass SEWER pipes!

Baxter:  did u rip it tho?

Gray:  Hahaha! Yes. Well. No. I was just about to like totally rip my blouse, yes!

Then, sadly, I did not.

Baxter:  no!

Gray:  Thought I don't want look like a jock U know.

Baxter:  nononononono!

Gray:   I am too humble and AWESOME for that!

Baxter:  oh ok

Gray:   But I totally could have. EASILY bru. Freaking EASY MEAT China!!

Baxter:  good thing you didnt climb ropes or lift weights then. Haha.

Gray:   I mean, I don't even have to hold my breath like. I just go WHAMMIE! And that's it. Shirt rendered useless. Just like that. WHAMMIE! New shirt please!

SO easy Bru!

Haha, yes well I had to do that, for the guys though, I am not (TOTALLY AM) so weak that I did it to impress a girl! I'd never do that to impress a girl. (Although, I would!)

NO!

Never. man, C'mon, don't be ridiculous now. Who do you take me for Ol' Baxxles?!

Totally though, no other point to doing it BUT to impress her.

But not for her at all. No. But yes totally for her. But not for her. NEVER China! Never in a million years. But ja, totally. For. Her. Ja. Of. Course.

Anyway.

It gets better!

Oh by the way, I hope she was suitably impressed with my Canonses, but I'm not sure she was, cos when I shouted “Welcome to the CANON Show BayBAY” from the top of the rope, just just laughed instead of clapping or vociferously nodding in agreement! Bit bummed about that ... oh well.

Anyway, this is where the story lifts in GREATNESS and AWESOMENESS!

Remember, she is fit, Lifesaving stuff, etc.

Anyway so she wanted to try a few pull ups

I thought no. C'mon ... Most girls can't even hold themselves up on the bar

Baxter:  your guns are huge

Gray: Let alone pull themselves up

But I gave her a help up. YES! I touched a girl and held her waist ... HIGH-5s!!!!

Anyway, then the greatest thing happened: I was giving her a lift up to the bar, holding her waist. I lifted, then she grabbed the bar and stopped moving upward, but my hands continued their upward trajectory and totally by mistake grabbed some UnderBoob!

Ooops!

Totally AWESOME accident! Hehe. 

(Aside: She became known as "UB Girl" from then on with the Hooters Bay Brothers).

Baxter:  underboob!

Gray:  Remember: MISTAKE! But twas totally RAD! Ha.

Anyway ...

Baxter:  woah!

you scored!

Gray:  YES! I did indeed! Haha.

Anyway, then for the "coup de gras!"

She starts nailing these pull ups!!!!!

Now granted she did not go through a full range of motion

Baxter:  woah

Gray:  So the coach in me was like: "Stop this shit young lady and give me 1 proper rep, PLEASE! This is pitiful. Don’t quit your day job." U know, all the typical and extremely powerful and encouraging motivational techniques I employ on an every-minute basis in my weightroom, to build my athletes up and inspire them. U know it!

BUT the MAN in me was like there is NOTHING SEXIER than a Hot Godly Foxie Minx-Bettie totally dominating her own bodyweight by doing weird sorta irritating technically insufficient half pull-uppy-type things!

That is DAYAM sexay!

She is Godly, Beautiful, tanned, sings and rocks pull ups like she's the HOFF! C’MON!!!!

Baxter:  flip

Gray:  Do I have to say it?

I will anyway: Obviously, WE were meant to be! (It wasn't!)

So as she was still doing pull ups with her back to me

I started dropping to 1 knee.

When the knee was down, I started saying: "BGBG, I've only known you for an hour but I've never known something more in my life than I know this right now: I'm alive, I'm in love, you complete me - Will you MAR ... " and as I was about to finish the sentence and the proposal my 1 friend, let's call him Crosbie, tackled me and said:

"NOOOOOO! Don't do it! U don't even know this Broad! Yes, she is a BGBG and she is doing totally sexay pull Ups but U just met like! I Crosbie am saving you from yourself Gray! 1 day you will thank me. Today may not be that day but 1 day you will! You'll phone me up 1 day and say: 'Hey Crosbie. Thank you.' 

I am saving you from yourself Gray, and it's a pleasure!"

And so in the end, I did not propose. But as the title states it is the story of "The Day I got Nearly-Engaged!!!"

THE END (or is it???) (Yes. It. is.)

___________________________________________________________

* There may have been a 1 or 2 subtle embellishments for effect. Small ones. You can probably guess where I used a klein bietjie Hyperbole!

Anyway, that is just another story that fits into the lattice that is my life! I appreciate you all for readeen. I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed living it!

Peace & Love YO!

Gray/Spinach.