An Irish Word or 2

Good Morning all

1st, thanks for popping by, I appreciate the fact that you have chosen to take a moment out of your day to read this little post. 2ndly, I would like to say that I know it has been a while since my last story, the explanation is not a simple 1, but it includes some studies as well as a small case of the proverbial BBS "Blocker's Blog Syndrome" (wink!). So ja, I'm still to a certain extent working through that, but I thought I would post this non-story story as a way of maybe stimulateeen some creative powers anew. Let's see what happens.

Okey-Pokey, the name of this non-story story is based on a television show from South Africa in the 1990s. "A Word or 2" was a game show of sorts where the contestants would have to work through a number of challenges regarding words and spelling, etc. 1 game was similar to Boggle I think, where the people would get some letters and they'd have to create as many words as possible in the allotted timeframe, they would then, after a few more games, progress on to the final challenge which was The Conundrum. In this game, the presenter of the show (whose name escapes me right now, high-5s to the one who can recall his name, I believe I remember him as being quite awesome actually, a literary legend of sorts) would spin the "Conundrum Drum" and 9 random letters (I think) would come out and the winner would be the one who finds the long word which uses all nine letters. Clues may have been given as well. Again, the finer details are sketchy but what I do remember is that as a family, although I don't think Les would tuck in very often (hey Les?), we would sit around the tele on the Tuesday Evening that it was aired on SABC 2 and we'd joust and banter and enjoy the challenges together and individually to see who would come out as "The Dean of the Deans" (U get me?).

The reason why I am telling you all of this is because I have a confession to make: "Hi, my name is Graham, and I'm a Wordaholic." Yes indeed, I do. I love them. Referring back quickly to the Word or 2 Challenge in the Dean Household, my Old Man Trev "Papples" Dean would walk away most often as "The Dean of the Deans", with mom Barbara "Hookins" Dean and I probably neck-and-neck behind him, with mom pipping me at the post most times. You see, My mother absolutely loves to read (sometimes it is like she almost inhales books, instead of air) and she loves words and language and is very good with grammar and spelling and it all; and my dad, is just a pure genius with a giant brain (In fact, I remember how oftentimes we would not call him dad or "Traffles" but just say "Morning GB" [Giant Brain ... What else?! Sheesh!]) (Okay, kiddeeeen, we never did call him "GB" but thinking back now, maybe we did him a disservice by not doing so, cos it certainly is true!). Anyway, back to the point. My mom especially but also my dad have played a major role in my love for language and words and spelleeen and grammar and accents and pronunciation and all, and for that to them I am eternally grateful. Thank you mom, especially!

Upon this long and drawn out foundation I present to you "An Irish Word or 2!" This will not take the form of a gameshow, but it will look at words and language and pronunciation and culture a little bit and I'll endeavour to draw out my experience of moving to Ireland and being accosted by a very different English language than I am used to.

Here we go.

1. "How are you?/."

The first major cultural language dynamic that I experienced when in Dublin was when I was working at this gym facility at the beginning of this year and people, instead of saying "Hi" or "Hello" or "Howzit Bruuu" would say "How are you?" Now, normally this would not be problematic but in this context, when a person asks "How are you?" they don't actually ask "How are you?" they say "How are you." and then they walk away.

So this is how it would play out for me working at this gym facility: 

(Client walks in)

Me: "Good morning client"

Client: "How are you."

Me: "Oh ja, I am well thank you. And how are you?"

(The sound of dozens of crickets chirpeeen, and the footsteps of the client walking away).

Now, at this facility we sometimes worked with upwards of 70 or 80 people a day and I would sometimes work a 12hr shift! That was a LOT of embarrassing moments for me each and every day for a long while. Even with this high frequency of  habit-breaking stimulii, it still took an aggravatingly LONG-ASS time to get my 28yrs of South Africaness out of me (answering that quezzie!). Therefore, this exact sequence above played itself out over and over again (70 clients a day) for months! Not so kiff, hey!

This is then how the exact same convo would happen between 2 Irish Peoples:

Irish Person 1: "How are you."

Irish Person 2: "How are you."

The end.

Now, I suppose I cannot come down too hard on the Irish for this because as I think about it, it's exactly like what happens in SA with "Howzit". Let's have a look:

2 "Saffers" engage each other:

Saffer 1: "Aweh. Howzit Bru!"

Saffer 2: "Eish. Howzit Bru!"

That's it. Now technically "howzit" is a short form of the question "How is it?" or "How is it going?" but for us it is just a statement, we would then go on on to finding out how the person is by asking "How are you?" which in SA requires an answer, and herein lies the frustration over this side!

Haha, anyway it led to many muttered endings where I'd share, to myself, my disdain for how the Irish use their language.

Okay, just 1 or 2 more for now.

2. "Work away"

This is more of a pronunciation peculiarity. Over here in Ireland, due to their accent they, for the most part, pronounce their vowels quite differently than in SA, which is perfectly understandable, we all do. When Irish people say "work away" they sorta mean "go ahead" or "Ja hey, do it bru!"

So here's the scenario:

(I am at work and need to make a few photocopies, I walk over to the photocopier and ask the secretary ...)

Me: "Good morning secretary"

Secretary: "How are you"

Me: "Oh, I'm fine thanks and how are you?"

(Sound of photocopies photocopying)

Me: "Aaaah, S*&t!" (muttered under my breath)

Me: "Aaaah, aaah. Oh secretary, may I make a few photocopies please?"

Secretary: "Work away."

Sounds fine hey, but no, there's more, this is how I hear it due to accents:

Me: "Aaaah, aaah. Oh secretary, may I make a few photocopies please?"

Secretary: "Walk away."

Me: "aaaaahhh," (Scratches chin) "Okay." (Backpeddles slowly)

(Secretary clears photocopier to make space for me, and then looks around)

Secretary: "What the Ffff&c%!" (muttered under her breath)

Yip, their "work" often sounds like "walk", not so much the "L" sound but definitely how we'd pronounce the "A" in walk. It led to a serious lack of productivity on my part!

Okay, just some quick-fire pronunciation thoughts: (Oh, thoughts equals Ttttoughts!)

Church sounds like "Chorch". ("Come Seamus, it's time for Chorch")

Burger = Borger ("Hey, let's nibble a beef borger!")

Bus = Booss (Mom: "Killian O'Callaghan, get on that BOOSS now!")

Thigh Curl = "Tie Curl" ("My hammies are weak, I'm gonna go do some Tie Curls")

And finally 1 of my favourites:

Thirty three and a third = Tttirty, Treee and a Tird! 

Therefore:

Irish Person 1: "How much would U like?" 

Irish Person 2: "I'd like a Tird, please" 

Saffer Oke waiting in line, listening in on Irish Convo: "What the Ffff&c%!" (muttered under breath)

There is an interesting progression on this as well though, some of the Dublin accents would pronounce an "I" similar to an "O" in certain contexts, therefore: 

Tirty tree and a tird = "torrty tree and a tord!"

Haha, okay guys I know this has been quite different but my love for all things words causes me to love these little nuances and differences and to be fascinated by them ... It is these little things that keep me entertained for hours while battling the Dublin traffic! This stuff makes me laugh but also causes me to look at my own language and pronunciation and see that so often, in the past, I thought that 1 was right and another not, well that aint actually the case, it just depends on where you reside I suppose. 

I do love how the English language has so many different forms and accents, it is a wonderful and unique thing indeed and we should embrace all our differences and creativity and not be put out by it anymore, I think.

If you have any funny language things about SA English or English English or whatever English or any other languages for that matter, then please tweak us a comment and tell us about it. 

Tttttanks!